I was awake at 4 am this morning, I have really bad anxiety attacks and sometimes, they keep me up at night. Anyway, I was watching Dr. Phil and the segment was about "problematic children". There was a teenage girl on the show that had very little confidence and lacked self esteem. Dr. Phil stated that her mother needed to help her develop a better internal dialogue.

The thing is, this is what i'm always saying. Teach our children to think and speak highly of themselves and they won't rely on others to think and speak highly of them. 

Our inner dialogue has an undeniable effect on our attitudes and ultimately the path our lives take. Positive self talk will help our children embrace and love their individuality. 

Our thoughts our powerful tools that will either work with us or against us. It is important to teach children to speak and think positively of themselves. Teaching children to use "I am" phrases at an early age is a great way to encourage the use of positive affirmations and help develop an effective internal dialogue. children developing self confidence are vulnerable. When negative self talk begins and will ultimately tear down any ego or will to try and learn that the child has. 

Growing up brings a lot of doubt and failure to our children, comments from bullies, friends, loved ones and teachers can tear down even the most confident of children. 

I AM phrases are positive statements about who we are, what we can do and what we can become.

Having your child repeat after you every morning before they have to go out and face the world will give them an extra boost of confidence that will stay with them throughout the day. 

I AM NICE.

I AM GREAT.

I AM BEAUTIFUL.

I AM SMART.

I AM FULL OF GREAT IDEAS

I AM UNIQUE

I AM STRONG.

I AM GOOD AT ( jumping,climbing,flipping,swimming etc)

I AM A GOOD FRIEND.

I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN.

I AM FULL OF LOVE

I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM.

etc….

encourage your children to repeat these phrases anytime they feel like they doubt their ability or lack confidence in any area. These phrases will become their invisible shield. Repeat them with them at bedtime, repeat them in the mornings, repeat them until they become second nature to your child. 

This is such simple but highly effective confidence boosting tool.

It is however, important to keep self talk positive. Negative self talk will tear down and destroy our children. 

Xo, Jeanice

This is a sleepover, NOT a slumber party.

What is it with children especially little girls and the fascination with sleeping over other peoples houses? Why can't they just be content sleeping in their room…..alone…..with no extra little humans that their mothers have to now have to deal with…. be responsible for? 

Jordyn and her bestie have been plotting…..planning a sleepover for a while now. It was a big deal since her bestie had never slept away from home and Jordyn had never had a sleepover with a friend that wasn't a family member. I wanted to make sure that the experience was memorable and fun for both parties. Sleepovers are after all, considered a rite of passage for children. 

The aftermath of a silly string fight.

My biggest concern was the fact that Jordyns bestie, is allergic to dogs. Everytime she comes over for a playdate, the dogs go outside, but they are not outside dogs. They are giant spoiled children… puppies who have never spent more than a few hours outside. (obviously something is wrong with me…..my main concern was my dogs?….way to go mother of the year.) I worried how they would handle it. The sad part is, the dogs were fine….i however, couldn't sleep, after all my children were outside….sleeping in the wild like some sort of……animals.

My second concern was her bestie having anxiety about being away from home. Jordyn doesn't have these anxieties….she is quick to ditch home to sleepover her grandmas house almost every weekend and during the summer will be gone for days at a time without even a phone call to say hey love you mom, i'm still alive……how rude, but i wasn't sure how Jasmine would handle being away from home, thankfully, she didn't have any worries or cares about it! I think its due to the fact that we literally see her every week. Her mother and I are close friends and the girls had already spent plenty of time at each others house. 

If you're hosting your childs first sleepover I suggest inviting only one guest. After all, this is a sleepover……not a slumber party, and mommy is out of ibuprofen. 

Having only one child over not only decreased my risk of a stress related heart attack…..but it made it more comfortable and enjoyable for both children who had never been to or hosted a sleepover before. 

The sleepover was confined to Jordyns room. Her room is pretty big, so i set up a treat/activity table in front of her closet doors and the girls still had plenty of room to play. I wanted them to leave me alone be able to have everything within reach. 

The girls had PLENTY of snacks. Including gummy bears, donut pop ems, pixie sticks, puff corn, chips, rock candy suckers, six lets, and birthday cake oreos ( seriously, so good they're evil) 

Sorry moms, this was not a health conscious party…..really, who wants raisins and rice cakes as a sleepover snack? i'm all for eating well, but i'm more of an advocate of letting kids be kids. And sometimes, that means letting them binge on snacks that are filled with high fructose corn syrup….sometimes……..lets not make this a daily thing you dare devils. 

Lets not talk about how the fabric covering the boxes is ghetto, this was a rush job.

In addition to snacks i wanted to make sure they had plenty of activities to keep them busy and to minimize the chance of there being a fight. They're 6 and 8…..the chances that a fight was going to break out was 97%…….I would have lost my money on that bet though, because there was zero fighting!……just a lot of silly string………….everywhere. 

Activities included DIY tutu flip flops. Sand art. Decorating their own hats, cups and purses and a canvas art project. I also bought dollar store flashlights and when it got dark the girls played ghost busters. It was seriously the cutest.

Everything i bought came from either the Dollar Tree or Michaels and activities were spread out through the night.

The bat drawing was not part of the decor, Jordyns closet doors are chalkboard and she has a thing for bats.

I made the girls both customized pillow cases with their names on them that they were allowed to decorate and keep forever to remember their first sleepover. The pillow cases are just cheap ones from walmart and the letters are just iron on letters that i got from Michaels. They were 5.99 but i had a coupon :)

The sleepover was a success. The girls had a blast . They are already planning their next party! :)

A few tips for hosting your childs first sleepover.

Invite one child: start with a sleepover and work your way into a slumber party……hosting a slumber party is big league, i have no advice as i will be sticking to one child sleepovers for now, you're on your own with that one my friends. 

Be aware of any allergies: Seriously, you don't want to have to tell another parent that you fed their child peanuts and they swelled up like a balloon. Don't do that.

Buy bad good snacks: You don't want to embarrass your child by bringing out the whole wheat cracker platter. Let them live a little. Order pizza for dinner.

Plan activities: Children are bound to fight and disagree. Having activities planned helps minimize the fight over who gets to choose what they play next. Also, buy the SAME of everything. ( again, were talking sleepovers for 2) Nothing starts a fight quicker than someone getting the pink cup and someone getting the blue cup. Have a decent amount of time between each activity, unscheduled play time is also important. Have the activities on hand and available but encourage, don't force them to do them.

Make sure everyone gets along: Be on the lookout for tension that may arise. If you see or hear your 2 party guest starting to argue a bit, time to pull out a scheduled activity and change the topic. Children usually forget what they were arguing about rather quickly. ( oh, to be young again.)

Ban the sweets one hour before bedtime: This is important if you want to sleep at night. Have snacks available early in the evening to allow them to have time to burn off all the sugar.

Encourage bedtime: While i was looking up info on hosting my first sleepover i saw a lot of "schedule sleep time" i giggled every time i read it. REALLY? no no…..i say ENCOURAGE sleep time. Let them know when its time for lights out,  give them their flash lights and let them stay up and chit chat. 

Be prepared for any emergency: Make sure you have parent contact information on hand in case of any emergency situation. Also, let the child that is staying the night that if at any time they feel uncomfortable or want to call their parent that you will do so.

There are benefits to sleepovers.

Stronger friendship bonds are built during sleepovers. They offer the opportunity to enhance your childs social skills and and the child gains independence. Allowing your child to experience a new situation will encourage flexibility and by staying the whole night they will gain more confidence in themselves which will help build self-esteem and a can do attitude, that can do attitude will seep into other areas of their lives. 

Xo, Jeanice

Dyeing flowers

All of the plants in our backyard are dead.

It's really a sad sight.

We have a rottweiler who digs, digs holes to China, digs holes to bury things, digs holes to lay in, he collects random things and puts them in these holes…

yes, that is our tv remote…..

So, he's dug up our entire drip system and all of our plants died. My rose bushes. Gone.

I let Jordyn water the plants in the backyard in hopes of somehow bringing them back to life. I tried to explain to her that she needs to make sure to water the bottoms because that is how plants soak up their food. I decided it was better that we do an experiment so i can show her.

Dyeing flowers is a visually stunning science experiment that is a very simple and fun way for children to explore how water transfers through a plant.

The brightly colored water turns the bright white flowers different colors in a short amount of time so this project is perfect for children who don't have the patience for drawn out experiments.

This project is super simple all you need is:

White flowers. 

jars or vases.

scissors if you're using smaller jars.

food coloring. ( i suggest using primary colors, Jordyn however, insisted on neon.)

what you do:

We added about 20 drops of food coloring to each jar.

Jordyns colors were

pink

blue

green

purple.

cut your flowers to fit and simply put them in the jars. Tell your child they will change over a few hours but watch them, watch the flowers like a hawk.

Within an hour our flowers had began to change color.

Especially the blue!

We talked about how the flowers drink through their stems and thats why the petals were changing colors.

We also noticed that the purple dye turned the petals blue, not purple. Jordyn concluded that because purple is a mixture of red and blue, that maybe the colors are being divided when they go through the stem. ( her words, not mine.)

We are excited to see how the flowers change over the next 24 hours!

Xo, Jeanice

Cinnamon toast muffins.

The other day i attempted to make muffins. I didn't add enough baking soda so the muffins didn't rise, they kind of just bubbled over and i ended up with a cracker stuck to the bottom of my baking pan. 

This morning i tried again.

These came out perfect. The outside corners are crunchy and the inside is moist and not overly sweet since i did make them for breakfast i wanted to calm down the sweetness. 

For the muffins:

2 cups sugar

1 1/2 cup all purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp cinnamon.

1/3 cup butter, melted

1 egg

1/2 cup milk

For the cinnamon toast topping:

1 cup brown sugar

2 tsp cinnamon

1 cup cinnamon toast crunch cereal, crumbled.

pre-heat your oven to 350

spray your muffin tin with cooking spray

In a large bowl, sift all your dry ingredients together. 

Then add your wet.

mix until just combined ( do not over mix or you risk adding to much air to the batter and your muffins will not rise)

The batter will be a little lumpy

fill each muffin tin about 1/3 full

add a spoonful of your cinnamon toast mixture to the middle and then fill the muffin tin another 1/3 full.

sprinkle the remaining mixture on top and bake for about 20-25 mins.

Allow the muffins to cool until you're comfortable handling them.

Eat and relive your childhood days of eating cinnamon toast crunch……..which for me was just a few days ago but for those of you who are more in touch with your adult side, these muffins will serve as a walk down memory lane!

Xo, Jeanice

Jordyns hair regimen.

I've been asked recently what products i use for Jordyns hair, whats her hair regimen etc. I'm no natural hair guru, i'm no expert i just know what works for my daughter. So, I'm going to lay it out as best i can. I'm not going to go into detail because this post would be way too long. if you would like a review of any products that you can't find online please email me and let me know. THECONFIDENTKIDPROJECT@GMAIL.COM

Shampooing:

 I usually don't wash Jordyns hair with shampoo. I've been doing it more this summer because she's been swimming and playing in dirt. I love co-washes but, sometimes her hair is really gross and needs to be seriously cleaned. When i do use shampoo it is usually only every 3-4 weeks. 

For shampoos i use Miss Jessies Super Slip Sudsy Shampoo or Shea Moisture Curl&Shine Shampoo . I use these in rotation depending on the needs of her hair at the moment. 

Co-wash:

 A majority of time i use a co-wash for Jordyns hair. I probably co-wash every other week. When i do, i use either Carols Daughter Carols Daughter Hair Milk Cleansing Conditioner or As I Am Coconut Co-wash 

(both of these are not pictured because i ran out and we're going on vacation soon so, i'm trying to use products i have and save money!)
Instead of a picture of the products, which you can see by clicking the link….enjoy this drawing of this super cute little natural. It brought a smile to my face. :)

img cred: google.

Conditioner: 

I only comb Jordyns hair when it is saturated with conditioner. And a majority of time i finger comb. Her hair is SUPER thick and it causes her pain if i don't. The conditioners i use most are Tresemme Naturals and Shea Moisture Curl and Shine Conditioner I usually saturate her hair in conditioner and finger comb. When i rinse, i leave a little of the conditioner in as a leave in.

Deep Condition: 

Heres the thing….i usually don't deep condition her hair. She just isn't the sit still with a cap on her head type of kid. When i do attempt to deep condition it's almost always an all natural conditioner that i whip up in the kitchen. Usually involving honey, avocado, eggs, and mayonnaise. Theres not too much  detail i can go into here.

Again, instead of a product photo, how cute is this painting?

image cred: etsy

Leave-in conditioner:

We use the LOC method to moisturize Jordyns hair ( liquid, oil, cream. ) It works for us. I think i go overboard on the leave in, but we live in las vegas where the heat is almost always in the 100s during the summer so, its justified. My favorite leave in right now is Miss Jessies Leave In Condish with a close second being Mixed Chicks Kids leave in conditioner . When i want a heavier leave in, i use Elasta Qp olive oil and mango butter anti breakage leave in conditioner. That leave in is very thick and heavy so i mainly use it when i've slacked off on keeping up with moisturizing. In her spray bottle i mix water, aloe vera juice and leave in and spray her hair with that before applying the leave in on its own.

Oil: 

 After i apply the leave in, i apply oils. In her spray bottle is a mixture of olive oil, avocado oil, and castor oil. I use a spray bottle because otherwise it gets everywhere. I just spray the mixture directly onto her hair and rub throughout her hair with my hands.

Cream moisturizers:

After the oil, i apply a cream moisturizer. For the most part i use Miss Jessies Baby Buttercreme . I also use Dark and Lovely Super Softening Hair Butter and Elasta Qp olive oil and mango butter moisturizer ( not pictured because i think it may be under Jordyns bed and i refuse to go under there. Theres no telling what i will find.) 

Styling aids:

For twist outs i use Miss Jessies Curly Pudding or Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie

For wash n go's i use Miss Jessies Pillow Soft Curls, Miss Jessies Multi Cultural Curls, and Miss Jessies Jelly Soft Curls. Pillow Soft Curls is my Holy Grail and i will swear by it until i die. lol.

When her hair is pulled back into any ponytail or bun i use ORS Smooth and hold pudding and African Pride Silky smooth edges . I used to use Eco-styler olive oil gel but found that it make Jordyns hair dry and caused her hair to have white flakes and tons of build up.

To smooth fly aways and combat frizz i use Carols daugher Mimosa Hair Honey
I don't have a photo because we're out.

Happy Friday!

Xo, Jeanice

These are not raisins.

Jordyn and I planned on starting the process of turning grapes into raisins today. The problem is that to make sun dried raisins…..you kinda need some sun and it is looking a lot like this outside

No, we are not the family that leaves their trash can out on the street at all times…..Thursday is garbage day.

So, obviously we couldn't make raisins today. Jordyn was bummed. So i decided to look in the cabinets ( and on pinterest) to see what we could bake. I found a recipe for peanut butter cookies, There wasn't a link so I'm not exactly sure where the recipe originated. Jordyn as over it. She decided if we couldn't make raisins that she didn't want to make anything. 

Although i did find her outside "making" mud pies……….

Anyway, on to the cookies. 

These cookies are seriously delicious. They're crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside.  ( Jordyn says they're too "peanut buttery", but she loves peanut butter, like LOVES peanut butter. She only eats peanut butter sandwiches, no jelly.……I think she is just jealous that my cookies taste better than her mud pie.)

What you need.

1 cup brown sugar, packed.

1 cup white sugar.

1/2 cup shortening.i use butter flavor shortening. I think the taste works better in cookies. but use whatever you want.

1/2 cup butter, softened.

1 cup peanut butter. Ok, i only used 1/2 cup peanut butter because i don't like overpowering peanut butter cookies…..does that make sense? i like peanut butter flavor, but not over the top peanut butter flavor. I was worried since i was using white chocolate wonderful peanut butter the flavor might be too intense.

1/2 teaspon salt.

2 eggs.

2 teaspoon vanilla.

2 teaspoons baking soda.

2 1/4 cup flour.

What you do:

Pre-heat oven to 350 

Spray cookie sheet with non-stick spray 

Mix together the sugars,butter,peanut butter and shortening.

Mix in eggs and vanilla.

Mix your dry ingredients in a separate bowl and then add to the cream mixture.

Roll into balls and then roll cookies in sugar.

( i'm not an overly sweet cookie type of person, so i made half the batch without rolling in sugar.)

place on baking sheet and bake for 12 minutes.

Enjoy the heck out of those cookies.

Happy Thursday!

Xo, Jeanice.

Giving got hard.

Yesterday was emotional.

Good emotions. Bad emotions. 

It was emotional.

Jordyn has always loved giving….giving money to the homeless, giving food to someone who needs it.  Giving food to animals, Giving has always been in her heart. So, when it came time to clean out clutter from her room i didn't expect much fuss but suddenly things go hard.

Giving got hard.

All the way up to the point where we were in the parking lot of the donation center, she was excited, happy to help. Once i parked……there were tears….like, she just got in the worst trouble ever tears. We sat in the car talking for a while.

ME: whats wrong Jords?

JORDYN: i feel weird. I'm nervous, i've never done this before.

ME: Do you want to keep these things?

JORDYN: no, i want to give them to kids that need them but my stomach hurts. 

ME: well why does your stomach hurt?

JORDYN: I don't know. 

ME: What do you want to do?

JORDYN: I want to help.

WE got out of the car and Jordyn with all her nerves got out and pulled her giant stuffed animals out and assisted the donation center attendant. He said to her " you're such a nice girl, some kid is really going to enjoy these."

When we got back in the car….there were more tears. Lots of tears.

She said to me. Mom, i loved them, but i didn't need them anymore. I'm glad i gave them away and i'm glad i didn't have to see the kid, it would make me more nervous.

And just like that, Jordyn, all on her own, had learned to not only give…..but to give with grace. 

See, i feel like the problem with "giving" these days is the intention behind the giving isn't pure. Too many people give because they feel thats what is expected of them. They give to gain appreciation. They give for recognition.

Giving isn't about possessions, appreciation, or wanting praise for doing good. Giving is about relieving need. Giving is about spreading the good fortune that we've had to those who are less fortunate. 

My want to give comes from needing someone to give to us when i was younger. 

Jordyn may not need but i want her to understand that not everyone is as fortunate as she is. 

Giving is about grace.  Grace is at the heart of every true gift. 

I asked my daughter to give not because i wanted to teach her a lesson in giving but because i hoped that through giving, she would learn the spirit of grace. 

I notice that some parents use worldly catastrophes as opportunities to teach their children about charity. Write the check, be supportive, reach out in times of need…..because thats what you're SUPPOSED to do. Is that really teaching about giving? 

I don't want to teach my daughter to give because she is supposed to. I want my daughter to give because she wants to. I want her to know that it's ok to give in even the smallest situation. I want her to understand that a gift is not a gift if there are strings attached.

 We shouldn't expect appreciation for giving. When we give, we give to relieve need. I want her to give from her heart. And i want her to give with grace.

If grace is present. Giving will express love and warmth. If giving is done for the wrong reasons, even the most extravagant gift is heartless. 

After we were done at the donation center, we went to gymnastics. After gymnastics, on the ride home Jordyn said " I want to tell you something…i feel so good about giving my stuff to kids who need it, i want to do it again and again."

Graceful she is…..I tell ya…….shes got life figured out.

Xo, Jeanice