Giving got hard.

Yesterday was emotional.

Good emotions. Bad emotions. 

It was emotional.

Jordyn has always loved giving….giving money to the homeless, giving food to someone who needs it.  Giving food to animals, Giving has always been in her heart. So, when it came time to clean out clutter from her room i didn't expect much fuss but suddenly things go hard.

Giving got hard.

All the way up to the point where we were in the parking lot of the donation center, she was excited, happy to help. Once i parked……there were tears….like, she just got in the worst trouble ever tears. We sat in the car talking for a while.

ME: whats wrong Jords?

JORDYN: i feel weird. I'm nervous, i've never done this before.

ME: Do you want to keep these things?

JORDYN: no, i want to give them to kids that need them but my stomach hurts. 

ME: well why does your stomach hurt?

JORDYN: I don't know. 

ME: What do you want to do?

JORDYN: I want to help.

WE got out of the car and Jordyn with all her nerves got out and pulled her giant stuffed animals out and assisted the donation center attendant. He said to her " you're such a nice girl, some kid is really going to enjoy these."

When we got back in the car….there were more tears. Lots of tears.

She said to me. Mom, i loved them, but i didn't need them anymore. I'm glad i gave them away and i'm glad i didn't have to see the kid, it would make me more nervous.

And just like that, Jordyn, all on her own, had learned to not only give…..but to give with grace. 

See, i feel like the problem with "giving" these days is the intention behind the giving isn't pure. Too many people give because they feel thats what is expected of them. They give to gain appreciation. They give for recognition.

Giving isn't about possessions, appreciation, or wanting praise for doing good. Giving is about relieving need. Giving is about spreading the good fortune that we've had to those who are less fortunate. 

My want to give comes from needing someone to give to us when i was younger. 

Jordyn may not need but i want her to understand that not everyone is as fortunate as she is. 

Giving is about grace.  Grace is at the heart of every true gift. 

I asked my daughter to give not because i wanted to teach her a lesson in giving but because i hoped that through giving, she would learn the spirit of grace. 

I notice that some parents use worldly catastrophes as opportunities to teach their children about charity. Write the check, be supportive, reach out in times of need…..because thats what you're SUPPOSED to do. Is that really teaching about giving? 

I don't want to teach my daughter to give because she is supposed to. I want my daughter to give because she wants to. I want her to know that it's ok to give in even the smallest situation. I want her to understand that a gift is not a gift if there are strings attached.

 We shouldn't expect appreciation for giving. When we give, we give to relieve need. I want her to give from her heart. And i want her to give with grace.

If grace is present. Giving will express love and warmth. If giving is done for the wrong reasons, even the most extravagant gift is heartless. 

After we were done at the donation center, we went to gymnastics. After gymnastics, on the ride home Jordyn said " I want to tell you something…i feel so good about giving my stuff to kids who need it, i want to do it again and again."

Graceful she is…..I tell ya…….shes got life figured out.

Xo, Jeanice