Wear your crown.

I got a message the other day on instagram that read something like this:

" My parents never let me have my own opinions on things, i always had to go along with everything. I think its amazing how you allow your daughter to form her own opinions and express herself. Its really inspiring. I hope to be a great mother to my children someday like you!" 

This message touched me. It made me SO happy. It made me feel like the point I'm trying to get across is well…..getting across. 

I saw this photo on Pinterest. I think more people should be encouraged to wear their invisible crowns. 

and while the meaning of wearing your invisible crown is open to interpretation, in essence it means to always maintain self confidence and continue to be aware of your own self worth. The idea is that while you should carry yourself with confidence you should also stay humble. 

There is a fine line between confidence and conceit. 

Try explaining that to a 6 year old…..

While I'm trying to teach Jordyn that she has every right to be confident in herself and be proud of her accomplishments no matter how small, i also face the challenge of teaching her not to be "braggy". She should feel good about herself but not put herself on a pedestal where she feels no one can reach. She should encourage her friends to be proud of themselves and be proud for them when they accomplish something. There are three things that are most important for me while teaching Jordyn that while she should indeed always wear her invisible crown, she should not be pretentious.

I identify her strengths and weaknesses: No parent wants to admit that our kid isn't "the best" at something (we also all think that our children are super geniuses) but understanding that our child isn't the best at everything is important to cultivate a healthy sense of confidence. I want her to take pride in things she does well, and understand that if there is something she cannot do, she must continue to work hard to do them.

so i praise her. 

I praise her for things she does well.

I praise her for things she doesn't do so well and encourage her to try harder.

I praise other children in front of her so that she learns to be happy for peoples achievements.

I teach her to be grateful: This one came easy for us. Jordyn is a grateful child. She appreciates the smallest of gestures. She understands that we work hard to provide her with the things she has and she cherishes everything she gets. I'm proud of this because i never want her to feel entitled. We both grew up very poor so we are both grateful for everything and i think that has naturally carried over to Jordyn. 

I try to teach her where REAL value comes from: I want her to understand that she is valued because of her being. Not just because she has a higher income or a prettier mom (lol), or she ran the most laps. I want her to know that people value her as a person and not because of what she has or can do. 

So go ahead, wear your invisible crown. Wear it with pride. Walk with the demeanor of regality. Hold your head high in confidence. But always remember to stay humble, be nice, and always be a good friend. 

Xo, Jeanice.