Tomorrow the love of my life turns 10 and i've been feeling a roller coaster of emotions ranging from excitement to fear. Excitement for these upcoming tween years, fear that I will no longer be needed. When I initially planned this post, I was planning a "10 Things I want my daughter to know before she turns 10" post but when I sat down and really thought about my journey in motherhood the last 10 years, the ups and downs, the struggles and triumphs, and the fact that Jordyn and I literally grew up together, what I really wanted to share was not the things I taught her but the things she taught me so here they are,

the 10 things my daughter taught me before she turned 10. 

1. SHE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE FAITH

I was 18 when I got pregnant. I was a broke, selfish, party girl who only made decisions based on what I was going to be getting out of it. I never wanted kids so when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. I wasn't fit to be anyones mother and I knew it but for some reason behind the fact that I knew I was unfit, I had this strange faith and confidence that I could do it and that I could be great at it. That faith.....it changed my life and it came from her. 

2. SHE TAUGHT ME TO KEEP MY WORD. 

Growing up, no one ever really kept their word to me so of course, keeping my word wasn't a top priority for me because it wasn't something I was taught to value. I used to make promises I knew I wasn't planning on keeping or I would say one thing and do another. I had very little integrity before I became a mother but Jordyn changed all of that before I even gave birth to her. I wanted to bring her up better than I was and in the process of trying to better myself I became more aware of how terrible not keeping my word was and distanced myself from people who had even less integrity than I did. 

3. SHE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE GRATITUDE.

I struggled throughout my childhood and into my young adult years. So much so that I used to have this anger towards the world coupled with this "why don't I have things" attitude. As Jordyn grew, she helped put life into perspective for me and I learned not to focus on the things I did not have but to be grateful for the things I did. A roof over our heads, our health, even something as small as her smile. She taught me to be thankful and grateful for everything. 

4. SHE TAUGHT ME PATIENCE. 

I never had patience for anything before I had Jordyn but we all know potty training takes a butt ton of it. Teaching little people to be good people is no easy task either and also requires a lot of patience and repetitiveness.  Raising Jordyn taught me to enjoy the moment and not rush. 

5. SHE TAUGHT ME THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS. 

I used to hold grudges and never forgive anyone for anything. Jordyn though, is so forgiving. I think it's a kid thing, most kids forgive easily. Watching how easily Jordyn is able to forgive has taught me to try and be more forgiving as well. 

6. SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO TRUST. 

I was never a trusting person. I had been hurt and lied to so much that trusting others didn't come easy for me. Then I gave birth to this little human who trusted me to take care of her and I figured, if this little girl could trust me with her entire life, I could put a little trust in people too. 

7. SHE TAUGHT ME WHAT HAVING STRENGTH IS ALL ABOUT. 

Raising Jordyn has definitely showed me that I am one of the strongest people I know. Going through the things that I have gone through, being a struggling teen mother, and over coming it all proves that I am capable and strong. I don't think i'd of developed the strength to push through had it not been for Jordyn.

8. SHE TAUGHT ME SELF ACCEPTANCE. 

I center my parenting around teaching Jordyn to love and accept herself and on that journey, i've found that she has taught me to accept myself. I learned early on that in order to teach self acceptance I must first be accepting of myself. 

9. SHE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

Parenting without  humor is impossible. Like, you'll legitimately go crazy. A sense of humor makes difficult situations easier and makes sad situations a little happier. A sense of humor is the parenting gift that keeps on giving and Jordyn taught me the importance of having it. 

10. SHE TAUGHT ME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Unconditional love was something I never grasped the concept of until I had Jordyn. In my life, love always came with strings attached...I guess it really wasn't love was it? The love from mother to daughter and daughter to mother is unconditional and unbreakable and something i'm so grateful for. She shows me everyday that there is nothing i could ever do to screw this mom thing up so badly that her love will go away. 

These past 10 years of motherhood have been the most difficult but most rewarding journey i've ever had the pleasure of being on. I'm so blessed to be able to grow with and learn from my child and i'm forever thankful that I have a girl who makes this parenting thing feel easy. I owe Jordyn my life....I was on a one way ticket to nowhere before I had her. She came along and taught me that life can have meaning and that there is a such thing as pure happiness and I owe it to her to make sure she never forgets it.

Happy 10th birthday my love. 

11 Truths about Invisalign for Kids

Left: NO aligners RIGHT: Day 1 wearing aligners.

If you've been following me for a while you know that Jordyn had traditional braces in kindergarten. If you haven't, you can read about why she had the need for braces so early HERE

Now that all her baby teeth are gone, it is time for phase 2 of her braces treatment. We originally were going to go with traditional metal braces again but after doing my research I spoke with our orthodontist about the option to do Invisalign instead. 

We are now in week 5 of her treatment and I figured that now that we've gotten used to our treatment plan and have been at if for a few weeks,  i'd answer a few of the questions I have been getting. 

Keep in mind that I am no expert, I am just speaking on our experience with Invisalign and trying to answer some of the questions you all had!

WHY DID YOU DECIDE ON INVISALIGN RATHER THAN TRADITIONAL BRACES?

I know a lot of people have this idea in their head that orthodontist try to push Invisalign to make a quick buck but in our case i'm the one that brought it up. Jordyn is really active with sports, she plays basketball 5 days a week so I knew that with metal braces she was going to have to wear a mouthguard so that in the event that she gets hit in the mouth, she doesn't get cut up by the metal. Now, wearing a mouthguard wouldn't typically be a problem but with braces in, you can't really mold mouthguard to the mouth so they wouldn't be able to fit properly. I brought up my concerns to my orthodontist in hopes that maybe there was some sort of special dentist mouthguard option I didn't know about and get this, he actually coaches his daughters basketball team. HA! He said he recommends Invisalign over traditional braces for athletes because of the braces/mouthguard problem. We also wanted to make this braces experience as comfortable as possible for Jordyn. Her braces experience before wasn't terrible but this round was going to be top & bottom braces plus rubber bands to adjust her bite. So she was going to have to watch what she ate, make sure she didn't have food stuck in her braces after eating, plus take her rubber bands in and out at school....It just seemed like A LOT of work for her. With Invisalign, she just goes to the bathroom before lunch, pops out her aligners, and goes about her business. 

I will say this.....you should know your childs maturity level before deciding on Invisalign. They must be worn 22 hours a day and a lost aligner costs upwards of 150 dollars to replace. 

WHAT IS THE PROCESS OF GETTING STARTED LIKE?

We had a consultation with our orthodontist. Once he decided she was a good candidate for Invisalign  he took digital scans of her mouth and 2 sets of dental records. One for their office and one to be sent to Invisalign to make the custom aligners. It took about 6 weeks before we actually got her aligners. When our aligners came in our orthodontist went through the treatment process in depth and answered every question I had. They also worked with Jordyn to figure out how to pop her aligners in and out. They put 4 attachments on Jordyns teeth but I have read reviews from people who have had attachments on nearly every tooth so be prepared for more attachments than you may think your child will have. 

HOW LONG WILL TREATMENT TAKE?

The length of your treatment depends on the severity of your case. Jordyns treatment process is set at 35 weeks with new aligners changed out every week. There are some treatment processes that take longer, with aligners being changed out every 2 weeks rather than each week so talk to your orthodontist about that. 

IS IT AS PAINFUL AS TRADITIONAL BRACES.

I wouldn't say it is as painful as traditional braces but  Jordyn does feel the same type of tightness she would feel when she got her braces tightened, whenever she puts in a new tray. The feeling of tightness usually wears off in a day or so. She says its more of an  uncomfortable feeling than a painful feeling which is normal and a sign that the treatment is working because your teeth are shifting. 

TOP: Week 1,Day 1 BOTTOM: Week 4,Day1. 

CAN YOU EAT WITH THEM?

No. The beauty of Invisalign is that you can take them out whenever it is time to eat. The only thing you can drink with your aligners in is water obviously because colored liquids can stay. I'm totally happy about this because it means Jordyn is drinking more water and less juice!! 

It's also recommend that you brush after eating and before you put your aligners back in to maintain proper hygiene. Jordyn doesn't take a toothbrush to school but she does rinse her mouth out after lunch and once she gets home from school and has her afternoon snack, she brushes. 

CAN THEY SLIP OFF?

No. The aligners are custom fit to her teeth so they fit extremely snug plus they put attachments onto her teeth that are designed to help hold the aligners in place.

ARE THEY HARD FOR HER TO GET ON AND OFF?

They aren't difficult but the first few days were a learning curve. She pops them in and out like a pro now! This again goes along with knowing your childs maturity level before deciding on Invisalign. 

IS IT MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE?

Invisalign is more expensive but in our case, it wasn't THAT much more. It was about 800 dollars more than the traditional braces treatment plan and I mean, 800 dollars more for the convenience and comfort Invisalign offers is a really great deal. 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE ORTHODONTIST. 

We are on an 8 week follow up plan. We currently have weeks 1-8 of aligners, at our next follow up visit we will get weeks 8-16...so on.

Barely visible!! 

HOW DO YOU CLEAN THEM?

My favorite part of the Invisalign process is the ease of cleaning both her teeth & the aligners. When she had traditional braces it was SUCH a hassle but with Invisalign you literally pop them out then brush and floss like normal. Our ortho said you just brush your aligners like you would your teeth and that you could even use Dial soap on them but.....Jords sticks with toothpaste.  

WILL SHE NEED TO WEAR A RETAINER AFTER HER TREATMENT IS DONE?

Yes. Just like traditional braces wearers, retainers after treatment ensure that her teeth will stay straight. This isn't anything new she will have to get used to because she's been wearing a retainer since 1st grade anyway. 

Overall i'm very happy with our decision to go with Invisalign. We are 5 weeks in and Jordyn is doing a really great job being responsible with her aligners. There was a lot of back and forth with Zeke and I about whether or not she was responsible enough to handle not losing her aligners at school and if she'd remember to put them  back in after snacking but so far she is doing great.....lets just hope she sticks with it. 

I tried to answer all the questions you all had but if you have anything else you'd like to know please do leave a comment or contact me via email!

Xo,

Jeanice

4 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before 4th Grade.

4th grade is right around the corner. Literally, it starts on Monday. 

Honestly, i'm filled with so many emotions.....Good, bad, and ugly. Listen everyday Jordyn came home with some crazy story about something new that happened in school. Everyday it was something about boys, friends, grades, or teachers....the 3rd grade drama was so real. I don't know if i'm totally prepared for the roller coaster that i'm sure 4th grade will be but I know that there are 4 very important things I want the girl to know before she starts. 

So, here are the 4 things I want my daughter to know before 4th grade.

BE "FOR" YOUR FRIENDS.

Speak highly of your friends & don't allow anyone to run their names through the mud. Don't be the girl that stands by and lets others speak badly about someone you consider your friend, steer conversation to a positive light or walk away. Cheer for your friends, point out their strengths, rather than their weaknesses and be happy for any wins they may have even if you wish you could have had them for yourself. Avoid being envious, remember that we are all good at something & your friends wins don't mean you are a failure. Don't be a doormat, it is not your job to lose yourself trying to make your friends happy. You will disagree with your friends know that it's ok to speak your mind & stand your ground. Just make sure you speak with grace, say the hard truths gently and don't coat them with insults or sarcasm. 

Listen to your friends, forgive easily, say sorry when you're wrong because...you will be wrong...and don't let boys come between you.....and speaking of boys.......

BOYS HAVE COOTIES...

You will like boys ( or girls....whatevs) I can't change that and as much as it makes me want to cringe, its a normal phase of development  Feel free to talk to me about any crushes you may have, I promise I will always honor and respect your feelings and emotions but know that boys are off limits for anything other than friendships. Boys will be around for a long time, you have no reason to rush. You will have friends that make boys the center of their world, you don't need to. There will be boys that will try to push your boundaries, understand that NO is a complete sentence. No always means NO. Drill that into your brain and never forget it.

 Remember that you were made to chase your dreams, not boys. 4th grade is a time to focus on friends, extra-curricular activities, and grades. And, while we're on the topic of grades....

GRADES ARE IMPORTANT, BUT THEY'RE NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

Know that your best is good enough. I do not expect straight As from you, I expect you to give your best work and if that results in straight As....then i'm proud. Alternatively, if your best work results in Bs...or Cs....i'm still proud. Your job is to try your hardest &  give it your best effort. And if you're putting your best food forward and still not getting something, I promise i'll do my best to give you all the tools, tutors, and help I can to assist you. 

Don't ever take anything at face value. 

Whether you understand something or not, ask questions. Ask your teachers, your friends, your parents, and yourself. Never stop asking questions because that is how you learn. 

YOU ARE BLACK GIRL BEAUTIFUL.

Just like last year, you may or may not be the only black girl in your class this year. I hope you look at it as a way for you to stand out and if there is another black girl in class, go introduce yourself to her, she may be feeling some of the same feelings you are. Your hair & skin are beautiful but they do not define you. You are not pretty for a black girl, you're skin color has nothing to do with how beautiful you are....your looks don't even have anything to do with how beautiful you are, it's whats inside that counts.  You don't represent all black people, despite what your white peers may think. Being black is just one thing about you....some of your peers or teachers may see it as the most important thing, but its not and its not your job to educate people on the black experience jus because you may be the only black girl they know. 

Your accomplishments may not always be recognized by society, don't ever let that stop you from being proud of any of your accomplishments. 

and finally, it is perfectly ok to smack someones hand if they reach in to try and touch your hair after you've told them no. 

I hope you dive head first into 4th grade..I hope you shock the world with your talents, be a change-maker & do amazing things!

Xo, 

Jeanice.

Back to school season: 5 ways to give back to your community.

When I was young, my mother struggled to make sure I had the basic necessities and supplies I needed to go back to school with.  I couldn't blame her, she had bigger things to worry about, like making sure we didn't get evicted because she couldn't come up with rent or making sure we had something other than ramen noodles to eat for dinner. 

As someone who grew up benefiting from the kindness of community during back to school season, I try my best to always make giving back to the children in my community a priority as the season rolls around and i've come up with my 5 ways you can give back to the children in your community during back to school season as well. 

DONATE A FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL OUTFIT

Remember how exciting the first day of school was? Spending hours deciding what you were going to wear that day to set the year off right? 

It might seem vain but that little confidence and self-esteem boost that a first day of school outfit brings a child coming from a tough situation is something that is very much needed. So, while you're back to school shopping purchase a head-to-toe outfit and donate it to someone you may know personally or to your local shelter. 

BE A VOICE

Help your local schools, shelters, and charity organizations by sharing information on their events. Use your social media platforms to get the word out about school supply drives. Contact your local schools and find out what back to school items they need donated then encourage your friends, families, coworkers, and neighbors to donate what they can. Use your voice in any way you can to spread awareness & generate buzz about charitable events in your community.

PAY STUDENTS LUNCH ACCOUNTS

A lot of schools offer free or reduced lunch options for struggling families but even with the reduced lunch prices, it can still be hard for parents to come up with funds for lunch. Contacting your local school or reaching out to a family you know is struggling and offering to add money to their lunch accounts would help alleviate one of the stresses low income & struggling families face. 

VOLUNTEER

If you have more time than money, volunteering is a great way to make an impact. Volunteer at your local back to school drive. Contact your local family shelter or charity & find ways you can help out. Join the big brother/big sister program and be a mentor. High student-teacher ratios make it difficult for teachers to give one on one attention to the students, volunteering in the classroom is a simple way to offer extra time and attention to the children who need it. 

DONATE

Donating supplies, clothing, and sanitary items to families in need is always a great help. 

Donating to teachers that are coming out of their own pockets to supply items for students due to budget cuts is also very helpful. Making monetary donations to schools is also a great way to help alleviate some of the stress of having low budgets. 

There are a ton of ways to give back to your community without breaking the bank, all you have to do is get creative and think outside of the box. 

If you're in Vegas, here is a list of clickable links to places you can donate this back to school season!

Project 150 Back To School Success Drive

Las Vegas Realtos Back To School Drive

Clark County Family Services

GR8 School Supply Drive

Fill The Bus 

Supply A Teacher

Xo, Jeanice

Avoiding the Summer Slide: Summer review workbooks

I wasn't originally going to write a post on summer review packets but I posted about Jordyns workbooks on  my Instastory a few weeks ago and I got a lot of questions about it so....here I am! lol

I always have Jordyn do work over the summer but I never thought anything of it, I mean...I never thought there were parents that were actually against having their children do school work over break but there are! 

I read a post on Facebook about doing school work over break and the comments were kind of outrageous. The amount of parents criticizing others for not giving their children a "break after working hard all year" was intense. 

The internet is weird I tell ya....

I like to have Jordyn do summer work to avoid the "Summer Slide"...What is the Summer Slide you ask?!

Well, according to Oxford Learning its when students don't keep their brains academically active and fall into a backwards learning slide losing on average up to 2 months of reading skills over the course of the summer. Additionally, about 2.6 months of math skills are lost and an equivalent of one month of overall learning is also lost!

To avoid any backsliding I have Jordyn read every night and do a page of either math, reading comprehension, or writing work every morning. I used to have her do science work but now we just actually DO science as hands on learning. 

There are a ton of places to find summer workbooks or printable for your kiddos. I've seen great selections for younger kids at Dollar Tree and in the Target Dollar spot.
Pinterest is a great source for finding free printable worksheet pages as well.
I actually had Jordyns teacher print out her math and reading packets and she was happy to do so! 

I was able to ask her where she printed the pages out from. 

The reading comprehension pages are from Roadworks.org and contain different passages to read followed up with multiple choice and written answer questions. 

The math pages are from Teacherspayteachers.com

The cursive writing packet I made myself.  The worksheets are from k5learning.com
Jordyns cursive isn't as strong as it could be so its something we are working on this summer. The practice sheets start with words progress to sentences and finish off with paragraphs.

I like to keep it simple ( after all....it is summer break) so Jordyn typically does 1 page of work in the morning and another in the afternoon if she wants to earn extra technology time although that is not mandatory.

The Summer Slide is easily avoidable with just a few hours of academic work every week. And, I personally feel its better to go into the next school year prepared and ready to learn new skills rather than having to play catch up.

Xo, Jeanice :)

Raising a daughter who serves others.

Summer is coming up so we are doing another closet purge. 2 times a year Jordyn and I go through her things and separate them into keep, donate, and trash piles. I've done this with her since she was very young...you know those parents who wait until their children are gone at school and sneak and throw away the stuff their kids no longer fit or play with but would totally freak out about if they found out it was gone?....Yeah, i've never been that parent. I've always involved Jordyn in the giving process because I want her to know that while she lives a very fortunate life there are others out there who are less fortunate and it is our job to do our part in easing our fellow humans struggles. I also think learning to give at such young age helped ease the struggle of that "gimme gimme, mine mine" phase kids go through. 

I've always believed in the importance of raising children who serve others and that children should get involved in charitable causes and giving back as early as possible so here are 5 simple ways i've ingrained a serving others lifestyle in Jordyn.

1. GET ONE/GIVE ONE.

We live by the get one/give one rule. Whenever you get something new, you have to give away something old. We keep all old toys in a box in the garage and when its full, we donate it. 

2. PURGE TOGETHER.

We purge her things and decide what gets donated together. One time, I did it without her and it just wasn't the same. She didn't learn any lessons from it. The effectiveness and value of this activity is gone if you do it without her so I always include her. 

3. LET HER PICK HER OWN CAUSE.

I keep her excited and interested in donating by allowing her to pick what cause she donates to. Jordyn is really into dogs and wants to be a vet when she gets older so we currently set aside money to donate to one of our local animal shelters. 

4. MAKE HOLIDAYS CHARITABLE.

Jordyn hardly ever asks for anything. For her birthday and christmas she specifically says she wants to give to kids that are less fortunate. Her christmas list this year was nonexistent, instead she said asked santa to give to kids who needed it more. Of course, we still get her presents but we also honor her wishes in getting things to donate as well. 

5. VOLUNTEER.

Jordyn has always seen me volunteer for almost everything since she was young. I'm a big believer in serving others so and as she grows older she is getting into volunteer work on her own. Be it at the library, with a neighbor, or helping out around her school, volunteering helps build a sense of community in Jordyn.

 Giving and volunteering doesn't always have to be "official" either. We don't use those donation drop off boxes and we rarely ever donate to stores like Goodwill. 1 because a lot of times owners of thrift stores raid those drop off boxes and go on to sell the items and 2 because i'm more of a fan of giving to small lesser known causes or people I know personally who may be having a hard time and can use a little extra help. 

It's always been important to me to show Jordyn that giving back and serving others is not only reserved for emergencies so i've tried to teach her early on to acquire the habit of selflessness and make serving others and charitable living a natural way of life for her. 

Xo,

Jeanice.

Supporting your youth athlete; guide but don't steer.

I never knew how intense the youth athlete scene was until Jordyn started playing basketball.....I mean, some of these parents have crazy, unrealistic expectations for their children. I see and hear it all the time, at almost every practice...the overzealous parent sideline coaching and threatening to punish their 9 year old if they don't " do it right" 

Correct me if i'm wrong but, isn't that what practice is for?....For the child to LEARN HOW TO DO IT RIGHT?

It seems that parents are looking to build trophy kids rather than focusing on keeping their children happy, active and healthy. There seems to be a place in youth sports for tension, animosity, parental rivalry, anxiety, anger, and dysfunction.....and very little space is reserved for actual FUN. 

I've witnessed a parent completely attack and belittle his child after the game, he tormented the child with everything he did wrong the whole walk out of the gym as tears rolled down the poor boys face. 

I know one parent, who said he and his wife have their childs whole basketball career planned out up until college and the NBA......he's 9. 

Another, who is currently searching for a home to purchase near a high school with a high ranking basketball team for her son to play on...he's 5.

And another, who has very rudely suggested to us that we don't care about our childs advancement and growth in basketball because we "aren't that hard on her".

The examples can go on and on....and honestly, I start to hate youth sports because of it. 

Plus, the parents constantly playing this "my kid is better than your kid" game is exhausting. 

And ok.....I mean, I don't think they're bad parents, I do think they get wound up in the idea of having a young "star" athlete" or are caught up in the idea that they're 2nd grader could get a free ride to college in the form of an athletic scholarship. 

I guess i'm the oddball out when it comes to the youth sports scene. I focus my attention on the happiness of my child rather than pushing her to the point of defeat and exhaustion chasing a dream that may not even be hers. 

Here are a few to the things I do to make sure Jordyn remains a happy, well rounded youth athlete. 

1.

I focus on Jordyn being active, healthy, and having fun.I'm always sure to highlight her personal growths and success rather than the outcome of the game, win or lose. Of course, I acknowledge the wins and losses but errors are not corrected with humiliation and I make sure to let her know that the wins or losses do not make or break her as an athlete, her attitude, will to work & commit to growing  does. 

2

Her games are just that, games

They are not a testament or reflection of my quality of parenting or of her as a child. They are also not a chance for me to get a little boost in my own ego if she plays well. The games are there for her happiness and improvement. 

3.

I let Jordyn lead the way, I guide...but I don't steer.

 I help her set her own goals for her sport and guide her in pursuing those goals but I do not take over and steer her car. I do not ever put my own goals and expectations onto her. This is HER thing....not mine, i'm here to assist not to direct. 

4.

I let her know its ok to be competitive. 

Competition teaches us to bring our best efforts, to take risk, and to cope when things don't go our way. The competition in sports teaches her that sometimes you work hard and things don't go your way, and thats ok. She learns resilience that will follow her into adulthood. 

Truth is, most parents don't have enough self awareness to realize that our children are not second chances to live up to our long lost legacies....which is what I think happens a lot in youth sports. Too many parents treat the success of their children as a means to make up for their own losses, and its crippling. 

As parents, we hould focus on the fact that there are so many benefits of raising youth athletes that have nothing to do with scholarships and superficial recognition. 

From building self-esteem, grit, goal setting, and grace to learning commitment, being part of a community, and performing better in school. 

The list of benefits of youth sports is almost endless but for our children to really soak up the lessons that come from them, we've got to help guide them in pursuit of what THEY want and stop steering them in the direction of our own selfish goals. 

Xo, Jeanice

Raising Jordyn; The story of us.

Jordyn was born on October 25th 2007 at 4:33pm. 

She weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces and was 18 inches long. 

I remember my labor like it was yesterday, I mean it was all of 10  minutes so of course I remember it!

Ha.

True story, I went to the doctor with my mother and my sister in law for a check up. After making me extremely uncomfortable (you know how it is when you've got another person putting fingers and cold medal utensils inside you) my doctor determined I was already dialating so he scheduled me to check into the hospital at 4am the next morning so we left and went across the street to Target ( naturally...lol.) 

While at Target I started feeling a little bit of pressure, not pain but pressure. 

I told my mom to which she said " you probably just have to poop"....classy, I know. 

 After about 5 mins of me trying to convince Nancy that " I think he woke her up" and we should go back across the street, my sister in law finally agreed to take me back to the hospital. 

Good thing too because what happened next happened at the speed of light and was kind of blur. 

As soon as we parked and got into the hospital, I was strapped down to the delivery table and told that if I had taken any longer to park the car, i'd be having my baby in the parking lot!

At this point i'm really confused because I have yet to experience any of the very real labor pains that i've assured myself I was going to have..but no...no intense pain like on tv, just that same nagging feeling of pressure. 

The next few minutes are still very crazy to me.

The nurse is checking my vitals, telling me i'm too far along for an epidural, and trying to make me as comfortable as possible. She goes to check how far i've dilated when she says "Do you want to see your babies head?" Before I could answer I feel a VERY intense pain and hear a splatter which I would later learn is my water breaking and I hear the nurse say "OH SHIT" and bloop....out comes Jordyn.

 No pushing, she just slid right on out. 

They called her the 10 minute miracle....it was ridiculously fast. Just like that, the little person that changed my life forever was born and I was in love. The nurse kept telling me to rest but all I wanted to do was cuddle my baby, I mean, hello...she rushed to get out into the world, she was obviously eager to meet me lets not deprive her of that so I can do what? Sleep?...No thanks.

I always say Jordyn saved my life....and I mean it. But, let me back up and fill you all in on exactly WHY I say that. 

I left home when I was 18. I had an abusive, drug addicted stepdad and my mom just wasn't in a place where she was strong enough to realize she could do without him. I had given my mother an ultimatum, him or me.....and like I said, she wasn't strong enough to realize she could do without him. I don't like to say she chose him but....she didn't leave him. 

So I left.....and I didn't speak to my mom for almost a year, in fact....I didn't speak to my mom until I was telling her I was pregnant. 

Jordyn brought me back home, she made it possible for me and my mother to have a relationship again. 

She saved us. I'm forever grateful for it because Nancy is now my best friend. 

I had a tough pregnancy. It wasn't a happy time for me. I was a teenager,  I felt betrayed by my body, my mom moved around a lot so I didn't have a permanent, secure place to call home, I didn't have a steady job, I had nothing. 

I should say, I felt like I had nothing...Looking back, even though my situation wasn't ideal, I was far more blessed than most and I will never take that for granted. 

Before I had Jordyn, I was a mess. I drank A LOT and was extremely selfish. 

I guess that came from my childhood. Like I said, my step dad was on drugs. He abused my mom, verbally abused my brother and I, and stole from us.

 I remember one time I was working my very first job and I managed to save like 700 bucks!!...and he stole it. 

Another time, my mom had given him the money for rent and he stole it and pretended he paid it by writing up a fake receipt! We ended up getting evicted which I guess was nothing new, we got evicted a lot....

 I grew up in a shitty neighborhood too. I just had this conversation with my mom the other day, I didn't realize it then because I was in the thick of it but most of the people around me were drug addicts...sadly, most of the people I grew up around are still drug addicts. They're all products of their environment and I guess by all standards and statistics, I should have been too, i'm hankful i'm not.

Being brought up in the environment I was, by someone like my stepdad, made me selfish. I took on this, I have to look out for me regardless of how it makes others feel, mentality. 

I was hurt by a lot of people and hurt a lot of people back then, i'm not proud of it....but it's my truth. I've forgiven those people and myself and have moved on.

My start to motherhood was rocky. I'd love to be able to say after I popped that baby out I automatically turned into super mom and everything was perfect, but i'd be lying. 

I was still lost and confused. Still without a steady job. Still without a secure home. 

Still trying to cling to my youth, the partying, and the people I thought were my friends. 

For the first few months, Jordyn would leave every weekend and every weekend I would have parties at my house constantly and get black out drunk. 

I was unhappy, unsure of myself and my path so I self destructing. It wasn't until Jordyn was about 6 months old that I had my "WTF AM I DOING?" moment.

It happened around 3am the night of one of my many parties and I remember it clear as day because it was the night that changed my whole entire mindset...my best friend and I were up, drunk talking about life when she climbed on top of the fridge and was trying to get alcohol out of the many empty bottles we had stored up there.....She was getting more and more frustrated and angry that she couldn't find any and when she finally was able to get a tiny shot out of about 9 mixed alcohol bottles, she cried.....she broke down about how ashamed she was of herself. I broke down too. I hated seeing her like that but I hated seeing who I had become more. Here I was a new mother drinking every weekend in what? an attempt to forget I was a mother? 

I was disgusted with myself. 

I didn't struggle with stopping to drink after that. It wasn't hard for me, I stopped because I wanted to be better. I wanted to be the mother I knew my baby girl deserved. She was my driving force behind getting myself together. I wanted nothing more than to be someone she could be proud of. 

It's crazy how people take different paths in life....after that night, I stopped drinking and began the long, hard journey of self discovery and healing and my best friend, well...while I still love her, she is still on the same destructive path so I have learned to love her from a distance. In fact, I love a lot of people from a distance. I've realized that in order to be the person I want to be, I can't surround myself with people that have no desire to be more than who they are. 

This all happened before I even turned 20 and i'm proud to say that these days I barely pick up a drink.

Jordyns toddler years were some of my favorites.

 And while I had worked hard to be a better woman, I was still really young, 20-21-22 and while we were still living in a shitty one bedroom apt on the east side of Las Vegas, we were reasonably happy. We were a young couple struggling to make ends meet, we were working and doing school, and playing house but I felt like I found my stride and was really started to own this whole mom thing. 

We didn't have a lot, in fact, we had close to nothing. I was on state assistance and we were still barely getting by paycheck to paycheck. There were times where I would break down crying because it seemed like we were just in this black hole and could never get out. It was hard but everyday I got to go home to my 2 bestfriends and all the worry in the world melted away. 

I wished for a long time that we could just stay in our bubble....the three of us, but that wouldn't be life would it?..

Just as it felt like we were making our way in the world, building for our future, life was like...."lets see if you can handle this!"

I suffered a miscarriage in 2010 and it broke me, I couldn't handle it. Or at least I didn't think I could. 

 Zeke and I mourned in different ways. I needed him and he needed to be alone. We couldn't survive it and we ended up breaking up for almost a year. 

I moved back with my mom and tried to make the best of it. 

It was a hard year for me I felt like had lost everything that mattered to me. My family, my little shitty apt, and my unborn baby..

I started going out and partying again. I was living home with my mom and basically had a built in baby sitter so.....why not?...I felt alone and lost and was spiraling all over again. It took another WTF moment for me to step back and see that I was ruining my life again, and again, I stopped drinking. I stopped partying. I focused on bettering myself and finding myself again....

What i'm most grateful for is the fact that no matter what I was going through, Jordyn was always surrounded by love....she never lacked in that department. She was the happiest girl surrounded by people who loved her with no question. 

After about 8-9 months of being separated, Zeke and I got back together and we even rented our first house! It was a cute little house far away from the east side....life was looking up for us!

I was so happy. 

I AM so happy because this is the chapter in my life where everything changed for the better. 

We were both working great jobs, we had moved out of the hood, and were building a savings! Things were looking up for us. This was even the first time in our lives that we were able to afford to take Jordyn on a trip! Disneyland, here we come!

We rented our house for about 1-2 years...and then, when we were financially able to do so, we decided to buy our forever home. 

Buying a home was always important to me because I grew up not having one. I never wanted that for my baby. I want her to always have a space to call home. A place for her to make memories in and to come back to when she needs. If you were to ask me or even if you just took a look at my life, you'd never imagine that at 25, I would have a beautiful family and be a home owner. 

The home buying process is long and heart wrenching, we looked for our home for about a year. I remember when I first saw it, the home of my dreams...we put an offer on it and Zeke told me we didn't get it. I was heartbroken. Of course that wasn't true. We had gotten it and at my 25th birthday dinner a few weeks later, Zeke gave me a little box that held the key.

I CRIED.  

Here I was, a teen mom from the east side, changing my life, building my family, and buying a home.   Every obstacle I faced, every mountain I had to move, every demon I had to battle was worth it at that very moment. 

I just turned 29 and life is still good to me. 

I work HARD to make sure it is. I work hard so that i'm able to give my daughter the very thing I never had growing up, security. 

Coming from where I came from, experiencing the things I experienced, I would never have guessed i'd turn out to be the woman I am today. I could've very easily fell victim to my upbringing and I didn't. I owe it all to Jordyn. 

Motherhood is one of those things that really either makes you or breaks you. It either pushes you to be your best self or completely destroys you. As much as i'd hate to say it, there are some women who cannot handle being selfless, motherhood destroys these women. 

My journey has been a long, hard one...Life didn't hand a great hand, but I made the best of it and i'm thankful for it all. Through my struggles, I never would have found my strengths. Through my pain, I wouldn't be as appreciative of this happiness. 

There is this stigma that goes around that moms don't know what they're doing and we're all just winging it...and I mean, while I understand the concept behind it, I don't fully agree. 

Almost every move I make as a mom is intentional and calculated. I know what I DON'T want to be and I make the necessary moves to assure that I am not. 

Motherhood is ever changing.I'm still learning and i'm still growing. 

And i'm still just doing my best to raise a child who doesn't have to recover from her childhood. 

xo,

Jeanice :)

Battling spring asthma

70 degrees & sunshine came out to play in Vegas a few weeks ago and like most everyone after a long, cold winter, we were super excited to be able to get up and get out!!

Unfortunately for Jordyn, that hasn't been the case. 

Jordyn has extremely bad asthma and allergies so the seasonal allergens like pollen that are present in the air this time of year tend to get the better of her and cause her airways to become inflamed which then causes asthmatic flare-ups and attacks.....I read somewhere that pollen can blow for 50 miles so you don't even have to have a tree in your backyard to be affected by it

and that means instead of being out in the beautiful weather, we are often times stuck in the house.

A few weeks ago she was having a terrible time breathing..even using her inhaler didn't work. She ended up having to take a trip to Quick Care. It was scary of course, your child telling you that her chest is tight and she can't breathe is terrifying and we spent the next few days in the house trying to stay away from anything that might cause her to have another flare-up. 

She eventually got better and I sent her back to school and then BAM, Vegas was hit with an extremely windy day!....Just as my girl was starting to feel better, she was smacked straight in the face with all that wind and pollen.....and she was down for the count again. 

So again, we locked ourselves in the house and tried to stay away from anything that may cause a flare-up. Missing school & basketball practice. She even missed her teams championship game, that really upset her. I can only imagine how betrayed she feels by her own body especially because she doesnt fully understand WHY she goes through these types of things. 

Lately though, she's feeling better and the weather has been on our side! 

So of course, we got up and got out and went to the park!

Before Jordyn had gotten better, the folks over at Gymboree had reached out to me to take part in their #ONEBIGHAPPY campaign and when she was feeling well enough and the weather was on our side, I knew it was the perfect opportunity to get fancied up and celebrate this win. See, Gymborees brand platform, "ONE BIG HAPPY", is all about celebrating lifes moments....big and small. And although to most people not dealing with asthma and allergies, getting out and enjoying the weather may be something they take for granted, for us....for Jordyn, this is a big win. 

Gymboree had sent over a beautiful dress for Jordyn that I had planned on her wearing on a spring time mommy/daughter date idea post but celebrating being able to take a trip to the park without coughing and wheezing seemed like more of a #ONEBIGHAPPY celebration, and in truth, is more authentic. 

You all know i'm a big fan of children dressing like children and this dress absolutely fits that bill. It fits well and she looked so stunning and age appropriate. 

It's also beautiful.....I mean, the detailing is absolutely gorgeous. 

I also really love Gymborees jewelry. They have snap on backs that make it easy for little hands to get on and off.

They also sent Jordyn over some scalloped sandals that have a bit of a heel....and let me tell you, I die whenever I think about how dramatic she acted about the heel! LOL! 

And of course, the coordinating bow ties the whole outfit together. 

After being stuck in the house for almost 2 weeks, it was so nice to get outside for a bit of fresh air. As anyone dealing with or raising a child with asthma knows, the best way to steer clear of an asthma attack is to stay indoors when trigger levels are high,but that isn't always fun so heres just a few ways to battle spring time asthma and keep flare-ups and attacks to a minimum in addition to using a rescue inhaler.

1. STAY INDOORS WHEN POLLEN LEVELS ARE HIGH.

Thankfully, pollen counts are almost always predictable and there are tons of resources and apps that can help track it. 

2. ON HOT DAYS, USE AIR CONDITIONING INSTEAD OF OPENING WINDOWS.

In your car, be sure to set it to recirculate so you're not bringing in the air from outside. 

3. GET AN ALLERGY TEST.

It helps to know what your kiddos triggers are so you know what to avoid. 

4. SHOWER AT NIGHT.

Pollen and other allergens stick to your skin, hair, and clothing during the day. Showering at night helps remove those allergens from your body and helps reduce possible night time reactions.

5. USE A NEBULIZER.

Jordyns doctor told me that nebulizers work better for at home care. Inhalers are designed to administer quick relief medicine if you feel an attack or shortness of breath coming on and while nebulizers are designed to administer those same quick relief medicines if needed, they are also designed to administer long term control medicines. Nebulizers turn liquid medicine into a mist that the child breathes in through a mask. During spring on high pollen days or days when breathing has been a bit harder, Jordyn uses her inhaler twice a day. 

Being able to get up and get out was definitely a #ONEBIGHAPPY moment for us so I want to give a huge thank you to Gymboree for sponsoring this post!

And of course, I can't share my #ONEBIGHAPPY moment without asking you all what yours is?

Your kiddos first visit from the tooth fairy? Spontaneous dance parties? Picnics in the park? Trips to grandmas house? 

Head over to my Instagram and make sure you're following me & @Gymboree, comment your favorite #ONGBIGHAPPY moment for a chance to win a $50 dollar e-giftcard to Gymboree!

Xo, Jeanice :)

(This post is sponsored by Gymboree however, all thoughts and opinions are my own.)