4 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before 4th Grade.

4th grade is right around the corner. Literally, it starts on Monday. 

Honestly, i'm filled with so many emotions.....Good, bad, and ugly. Listen everyday Jordyn came home with some crazy story about something new that happened in school. Everyday it was something about boys, friends, grades, or teachers....the 3rd grade drama was so real. I don't know if i'm totally prepared for the roller coaster that i'm sure 4th grade will be but I know that there are 4 very important things I want the girl to know before she starts. 

So, here are the 4 things I want my daughter to know before 4th grade.

BE "FOR" YOUR FRIENDS.

Speak highly of your friends & don't allow anyone to run their names through the mud. Don't be the girl that stands by and lets others speak badly about someone you consider your friend, steer conversation to a positive light or walk away. Cheer for your friends, point out their strengths, rather than their weaknesses and be happy for any wins they may have even if you wish you could have had them for yourself. Avoid being envious, remember that we are all good at something & your friends wins don't mean you are a failure. Don't be a doormat, it is not your job to lose yourself trying to make your friends happy. You will disagree with your friends know that it's ok to speak your mind & stand your ground. Just make sure you speak with grace, say the hard truths gently and don't coat them with insults or sarcasm. 

Listen to your friends, forgive easily, say sorry when you're wrong because...you will be wrong...and don't let boys come between you.....and speaking of boys.......

BOYS HAVE COOTIES...

You will like boys ( or girls....whatevs) I can't change that and as much as it makes me want to cringe, its a normal phase of development  Feel free to talk to me about any crushes you may have, I promise I will always honor and respect your feelings and emotions but know that boys are off limits for anything other than friendships. Boys will be around for a long time, you have no reason to rush. You will have friends that make boys the center of their world, you don't need to. There will be boys that will try to push your boundaries, understand that NO is a complete sentence. No always means NO. Drill that into your brain and never forget it.

 Remember that you were made to chase your dreams, not boys. 4th grade is a time to focus on friends, extra-curricular activities, and grades. And, while we're on the topic of grades....

GRADES ARE IMPORTANT, BUT THEY'RE NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

Know that your best is good enough. I do not expect straight As from you, I expect you to give your best work and if that results in straight As....then i'm proud. Alternatively, if your best work results in Bs...or Cs....i'm still proud. Your job is to try your hardest &  give it your best effort. And if you're putting your best food forward and still not getting something, I promise i'll do my best to give you all the tools, tutors, and help I can to assist you. 

Don't ever take anything at face value. 

Whether you understand something or not, ask questions. Ask your teachers, your friends, your parents, and yourself. Never stop asking questions because that is how you learn. 

YOU ARE BLACK GIRL BEAUTIFUL.

Just like last year, you may or may not be the only black girl in your class this year. I hope you look at it as a way for you to stand out and if there is another black girl in class, go introduce yourself to her, she may be feeling some of the same feelings you are. Your hair & skin are beautiful but they do not define you. You are not pretty for a black girl, you're skin color has nothing to do with how beautiful you are....your looks don't even have anything to do with how beautiful you are, it's whats inside that counts.  You don't represent all black people, despite what your white peers may think. Being black is just one thing about you....some of your peers or teachers may see it as the most important thing, but its not and its not your job to educate people on the black experience jus because you may be the only black girl they know. 

Your accomplishments may not always be recognized by society, don't ever let that stop you from being proud of any of your accomplishments. 

and finally, it is perfectly ok to smack someones hand if they reach in to try and touch your hair after you've told them no. 

I hope you dive head first into 4th grade..I hope you shock the world with your talents, be a change-maker & do amazing things!

Xo, 

Jeanice.