I get a lot of comments in regards to Jordyn being an only child...I get asked constantly when i'm going to have another...I'M NOT!..I think the thing that bothers me most is when people comment things like " I would have time for that too, if i ONLY had one child" or..." Oh just wait until you have another one, you'll know"....
Um, i'm pretty sure I KNOW.....my daughter will be 9 this year.....9. I've been through all the diapers, the terrible twos, the toddler years, the potty training, the not sleeping through the night, the doctor visits, the wanting to pull my hair out,....Those things don't just disappear because you have one child, i'm pretty positive that I know just as well, the struggles of parenting as anyone with more than one child.
The motherhood community is extremely hypocritical and judgmental....In my case, it's harder for me to "prove" myself as a mother because i'm both a young mom and a mom of JUST one kid. I think it bothers me that other mothers view mothers of one child as "less than" or view only children as sad, lost, spoiled children that are unfairly dubbed the "lonely only". I mean, lets be honest, my ONE child is polite, well mannered, smart, independent, confident, respectful, compassionate, and giving. my ONE child doesn't talk back and throw tantrums..... but hey, maybe if you were worried a little less about me ONLY being the mother of one child...you'd notice that your middle child just threw himself on the ground in the middle of Target and wouldn't get up until you agreed to buy him the toy that he wanted.....way to go mom, that'll show him! Definitetly going to take parenting tips from you!
My reasons for choosing to have one child come down to a few, really simple things;
FINANCIALS:
We know financially what we can afford and the life we want to live.
We want to be able to send our daughter to college and have her graduate without drowning in debt for the next 5 years. Because we have one child, we have been able to build a good sized college fund for her. We also plan on giving Jordyn the world by showing it to her and because she's an only child, we are able afford 2 or 3 vacations a year.
WE FEEL COMPLETE:
People often make comments about having another child to "complete" our family as if we are somehow incomplete. We feel happy and whole, just the three of us. None of us want another child...Jordyn does not want a sibling. We have the best times, just the three of us, and when I think of adding another child to that mix.....I honestly get a headache. I love kids, but we love life the way it is, we feel so strongly bonded. Our little family of 3 is complete.
WE HAVE MORE TIME FOR OUR KID:
We are and extremely close family because we don't have to split myself between her and another child. She does well academically because we are able to devote time to helping her study. She never feels neglected because we have time for just her. If she has a problem, we are able to REALLY be there for her and give her our undivided attention.
WE HAVE TIME FOR OURSELVES:
While being a family is great, we never want to forget that we are also our own people. We are also a couple....not just a family. Choosing to have one child allows us to have more time and opportunity to focus on ourselves. All of us. We are a big "self care" family so Jordyn enjoys her alone time just like we do.
My point is, this is a personal choice but it doesn't make me less of a mother. Having one child doesn't mean I don't know the struggle and joys of motherhood. There is no "one size fits all" approach to motherhood but whether you choose to have 1 child or 5...is a personal choice and should never be criticized and judged by other mothers.
And yea, theres all that "research" that suggests that only children are selfish and spoiled and lonely but Jordyn is fine..she has really high self esteem, she's extremely creative, she knows how to be alone and independent. She also has a ton of friends who love her. She's outgoing, smart, and extremely respectful...because she is RAISED that way. In my opinion, it has nothing to do with whether or not you have a sibling...and everything to do with how you are raised.
Xo, Jeanice.