When i say Jordyn loves her hair. Its an understatement. I think the question i get asked most is "how do you get her to love her hair?" Truth is, i don't 'get' her to do anything. I allow her to be free in her decisions about her hair.
Let them choose hairstyles: I ask Jordyn how she wants her hair done. She almost always wants her wear it out but she also loves her hair in buns and puffs. Allowing her to choose her hair style for the day makes her happy all day long. When someone says to her " i like your hair" she responds with " thank you,i picked out how i wanted it by myself!"
Lead by example: I think that this has been said over and over again but i can't stress how important it is. Children mimic. Its our duty as parents to set a good example in everything we do. Including our hair. I embrace my natural hair. So Jordyn embraces her natural hair. We have wash day together so that she feels more like mommy. I let her play in and style my hair. She's in a phase where she wants to be twinsies with mommy. If i wear 2 french braids. She wants 2 french braids. If i have a top bun, she wants a top bun. We can't expect our children to embrace something we haven't embraced ourselves yet. The journey to having your child fully accept themselves and their hair starts with you.
expose them to people that look like them: Jordyn gets a little smile on her face when people compare her to Zuri from the Disney show Jessie. Her best friends mother has coined her " our own personal Zuri" We went to the store one time and 2 cashiers both commented on how cute her hair was and how she reminded them of Zuri. Its not that Jordyn and Zuri look alike, but their hair is very similar and Jordyns personality is just as big as Zuri is on the show. When we go to Target, she loves seeing the curly haired kids on the advertisements. ( I love Target for the interracial marketing by the way.) Everytime we go into Target, Jordyn comments " thats me and Marcella." It makes her feel good seeing kids like her that are "famous" She thinks its cool. I also like to expose her to other adults that look like her. Sometimes looking like mommy isn't enough. She likes to know that other people in the world have hair like hers. It makes me happy when i show her photos of women and she coins them "beautiful like me" without me having to say anything.
Be gentle when combing and styling: A big reason why curly haired and natural kids start to hate their hair is the pain that is associated with getting it styled. Who is going to love their hair when they know that when its time to get it done they are going to be in pain? Be gentle. Finger comb if you can. Take your time. Don't pull pony tails too tight. Moisturize. Do not comb when dry. The only time i comb Jordyns hair is when it is saturated with water and conditioner. I try to make the process as painless as possible so that she doesn't associate getting her hair done with pain.
Show them what heat and chemical damage can do: Jordyn has never asked me to straighten her hair. She has asked me why i don't straighten my hair but some people do. " It's not very good for my hair" i tell her. Of course she asks why? I show her pictures of what heat and chemical damage can do to hair. I don't dictate to her that she isn't allowed to straighten it (again, I'm raising her to make her own decisions) I just let her know the consequences of putting heat and chemicals on her hair.
Everyone is different: The biggest thing i try to teach Jordyn is that everyone is different. Not the fact that every has different skin or everyone has different hair. But everyone is different in how they choose to style their natural hair. Just because we don't put relaxers in our hair, doesn't mean that kids that have relaxers don't have beautiful hair. That is their parents choice. If a parent chooses to straighten their childs hair. That is their choice. I try to let her know that everyone has a choice. My choice is to not put chemicals and heat on my hair. Her choice is to follow in my foot steps. If she ever decides she wants to straighten her hair or chemically relax it. She will know and understand the consequences and be able to make an informed decision. I will let her do whatever she decides. So far, when i ask her "do you want straight hair?" She looks at me like I'm crazy and says " heck no girl, do you see these beautiful curls?"
Thats my girl…
Xo, Jeanice
Be gentle when combing and styling: A big reason why curly haired and natural kids start to hate their hair is the pain that is associated with getting it styled. Who is going to love their hair when they know that when its time to get it done they are going to be in pain? Be gentle. Finger comb if you can. Take your time. Don't pull pony tails too tight. Moisturize. Do not comb when dry. The only time i comb Jordyns hair is when it is saturated with water and conditioner. I try to make the process as painless as possible so that she doesn't associate getting her hair done with pain.
Show them what heat and chemical damage can do: Jordyn has never asked me to straighten her hair. She has asked me why i don't straighten my hair but some people do. " It's not very good for my hair" i tell her. Of course she asks why? I show her pictures of what heat and chemical damage can do to hair. I don't dictate to her that she isn't allowed to straighten it (again, I'm raising her to make her own decisions) I just let her know the consequences of putting heat and chemicals on her hair.
Everyone is different: The biggest thing i try to teach Jordyn is that everyone is different. Not the fact that every has different skin or everyone has different hair. But everyone is different in how they choose to style their natural hair. Just because we don't put relaxers in our hair, doesn't mean that kids that have relaxers don't have beautiful hair. That is their parents choice. If a parent chooses to straighten their childs hair. That is their choice. I try to let her know that everyone has a choice. My choice is to not put chemicals and heat on my hair. Her choice is to follow in my foot steps. If she ever decides she wants to straighten her hair or chemically relax it. She will know and understand the consequences and be able to make an informed decision. I will let her do whatever she decides. So far, when i ask her "do you want straight hair?" She looks at me like I'm crazy and says " heck no girl, do you see these beautiful curls?"
Thats my girl…
Xo, Jeanice
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