Jordyn tends to want to be a people pleaser. A lot of times her answers to my questions about what she wants to do are "well what do you want mommy?" Or " if you want me to." . She aims to please. This isn't always necessarily a bad thing. She is very compassionate and generous and always willing to give.
But I want her to know its ok to be a leader. To not always be a crowd pleaser and to pave her own way and make her own decisions.
Here are a few things that we've been working on.
Assertiveness: I want her to know that it's ok for her to take the lead.
Little things like letting her decide what we have for dinner or what movie we watch as a family let her know it's ok to make decisions based on what she wants and not just go with whatever it is she thinks we want. Teaching assertiveness now will give her the confidence to be assertive and stand up for herself in school.
Do your personal best and don't compare yourself to others: In gymnastics, they have to climb a rope that extends all the way down from the ceiling. Some girls are great at it. Some are not. Jordyn falls into the are not category. 2 weeks ago she came out of class crying. Upset that no matter how much she tried she couldn't get up the rope and the other girls could. We sat out in the parking lot talking for a while. I explained to her that while the other girls may be great at climbing the rope, I was proud that she tried over and over again. No matter how many times she fell, she got back up and tried again. This past Monday she climbed half way up the rope and while it may not have been to the very top like the other girls, she was proud. She told everyone about how she did it because she tried hard and didn't worry about the other girls.
Bad ideas and good ideas: she is raised to understand that good ideas are good ideas because of the actual idea and not because they are endorsed or praised by some people. I ask her to think beforehand and determine whether something is a bad idea or a good idea and not just go with the flow.
Children naturally conform to each other. They naturally mimic and influence each other. Non-conformity is something that must be taught. I stress a lot that she shouldn't do something just because other people are. She shouldn't like things just because other kids like them.
I think it's working. Because while most girls in her class dressed up as a princess for character day at school, my girl wanted to be Skippy Jon Jones, the Siamese cat who thinks he's a chihuahua. :)
Xo, Jeanice
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