Hard work and determination pretty much go hand and hand. In a room full of geniuses and idiots, The determined person is usually the one that works the hardest and achieves the most regardless of their IQ. According to some experts, teaching children the value of hard work and determination is essential in the childs social and emotional development. 

So how do we teach them the value of hard work and determination in an era watered down with Google and iPads? 

Heres are 3 simple things we practice that go a long way with our first grader.

PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD:

Jordyn decided she wants to be an olympic gymnast. She watched the Gabby Douglas movie and started doing gymnastics recreationally a few months ago and fell in love. Because she worked so hard at it, she was invited to join the pre-competition team within 2 months of ever even stepping foot into a gym. She started learning her routines and wanted to show me and Zeke. As she was showing us, although she had the routine memorized and it would have probably been good enough for some parents, we noticed that she wasn't putting her best foot forward. Her kick overs were good, but not great. Her toes weren't pointed as they should b...So instead of praising her on memorizing the routine, we reminded her that if she wants to be an olympic gymnast, she needs to always make sure she is giving 100% and that doing her routine half-heartedly, even if its just to show us at home, isn't going to get her to her goal.. A few minutes later....those toes were pointed, those kick overs were perfect. If she knows she can do it...she needs to always put her best foot forward in any instance in life.

PRAISE THE EFFORT MORE THAN THE ACCOMPLISHMENT.

Its hard for us as parents to not over praise our children when they do something great. Some kids do things with such ease, while it takes others 30 tries before they can get it. But the child that took those 30 tries and accomplished what they set out to do, deserves more praise for their effort that the child that accomplished something with ease. That child should be pushed to do something that takes more effort on their part and then praised. If we over praise our children on things that come easy to them, they're always going to want to take the easy way out and not work hard at things that take effort. 

THE ONLY FAILURE IS NOT TRYING.

Jordyn is really hard on herself. She gets really down on herself if she can't accomplish something. but she never gives up. She tries and tries, no matter how many times she fails. She tries until she nails it. I don't hide my failures from Jordyn either, modeling what you're teaching is one of the most important things we can do as parents. Instill in your children that the only failure is not trying. Drill into their brains the concept of "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again". There are also tons of children's books that can be read with your children in which the underdog prevails.

It's important to keep home a safe place. Free of judgement from failure. If your child is afraid of the consequences of failure, they wont even try.

SOME GREAT CHILDRENS BOOKS ON DETERMINATION:

(click titles to purchase from Amazon)

Wilma Unlimited

A great book about determination in sports.

Pancakes for Breakfast

a fun story about hard work!

Walk On!

Such a cute story that reminds children they were determined before they even knew it!

Amazing Grace

A story about succeeding despite opposition!

What about you? how do you teach determination in your homes? 

Xo, Jeanice.

caring for braces/ teaching children oral hygiene

I get a lot of questions about Jordyns braces and her oral hygiene. A lot of parents email me stating that they want their children to get braces for cosmetic reasons. Let me make something clear, Jordyn did not get braces for cosmetic reasons and I do not encourage anyone to try to get braces for their 6 year old for cosmetic reasons. Jordyns case was a very special/rare case. Jordyn lost her first baby teeth 3 days before she turned 4. A majority of the teeth in her mouth are adult teeth. Her need for braces came from her two front teeth growing in sideways as well as her having an extreme over bite. With everything going on in her mouth and all of her adult teeth growing in so early, the teeth growing in sideways the way they were without any correction would have caused extreme crowding in her mouth which would have resulted in her needing to have teeth pulled. 

HER BRACES CAME FROM A NEED......NOT A WANT. 

Here are a few answers to some of your questions.

Q: when did she get her braces and how long did she have them?

She got her braces in May and got them taken off in October. She had them for about 5 months. 

Q: How did her teeth get straight so quickly?

The reason her teeth moved so quickly is because she is so young. 

Q: My child is Jordyns age and has crooked teeth, should I get braces for them?

No. I do not recommend getting braces on your young child for cosmetic reasons. Unless your dentist says that your child has a medical need for it, I suggest waiting until they are older.

Q: How much did they cost?

The braces are paid in monthly installments. Theres about 15 payments of 161 a month. Plus a down payment of 500 dollars for a total of $2,765 dollars. Braces are NOT cheap. 

Q: What food could she eat and not eat?

We were advised not to eat any super crunchy foods ( carrots, apples, celery, etc) No popcorn, no bubble gum, no super sticky foods. Everything else was fair game. 

Q: Did she have a lot of pain?

There was actually very little pain. She only had pain when they would tighten her braces for about 15 mins, and after she was fine. 

 In addition to having braces put on Jordyn also had space maintainers put in. Space maintainers are put in when a child either loses baby teeth really early ( Jordyns case) or if there is severe tooth decay in the baby tooth and it needs to be pulled. Its' purpose is to keep the space open to allow the permanent tooth to erupt and come into place. 

The bumpers were added to her braces because the wire was cutting into her cheeks. Once her teeth were pulled back, they added the rubber bands to push them together. 

Braces are extremely expensive, so its very important that you take care of your teeth while you have them, otherwise, you'll have straight teeth but you'll also have a lot of other dental issues. We just had a checkup and cleaning, and the pediatric dentist is different than her ortho dentist and he had never met Jordyn, he was very surprised to hear that she had braces. He stated that it's rare for children to have teeth as clean as she has especially with braces. He said that he can usually tell when kids have braces because they have stains on their teeth that take multiple cleanings to get rid of but had I not told him she had braces he would never had guessed it. She left the cleaning with no cavities and a declaration of " perfect teeth"

I could go on and on about the importance of dental hygiene but.....if you don't listen to your dentist, I doubt you're going to listen to me. All I can do is share what we do, and hopefully inspire someone. 

While Jordyn had braces she brushed twice a day with a soft bristled toothbrush and Crest Pro-Health toothpaste flossed, and used  ACT Braces Care Mouthwash. It is hard to floss with braces so it takes time and patience but it is something that has to be done.

Nothing really changed onced she got her braces off. She goes in for her regular cleanings ( try to schedule a cleaning after Halloween to keep potential problems from all that candy eating at bay) Brush twice a day, floss and use mouthwash. Instead of the Braces care we now use ACT Anticavity flouride rinse. I don't use children products on her. So theres no bubble gum flavored anything going on. 

I allow Jordyn to brush and floss by herself, I used to watch her but now that I know she's got it down I allow her to do it herself. Its important to give children the freedom to try to do things on their own instead of automatically assuming they cannot do something. 

Teaching children about oral hygiene not only benefits their health but cuts down on potential costly dental work. 

 Just look at that smile!

Xo, Jeanice

My Little Pony 7th birthday party!

This past weekend we celebrated Jordyns 7th birthday!

We decided to keep it small and just have family and Jordyns best friends over for some cake and to hang out in the backyard. We ended up getting a jumper for a heck of a price and Jordyn was thru the roof about it. 

Jordyns party would not have been as amazing without the beautiful hand made personalized decorations. I wanted to cry because these things were so beautiful. A small business contacted me and offered to make everything for free.......seriously.....just wait until you see everything. I will link her contact information at the end of the post.

THANK YOU SONYA FOR EVERYTHING. YOU TRULY MADE JORDYNS BIRTHDAY MAGICAL. I CANT WAIT TO ORDER ITEMS FOR MY NEXT PARTY!

We incorporated Jordyns love of Halloween into the outside decor. :)

The rainbow clouds were made from streamers and dollar store plastic table cloths. The Pinkie Pie poster is actually a game, "Pin the Cutie Mark on Pinkie Pie." 

The cake was rainbow on the inside but I didn't get a picture of it! :(

The treat boxes were adorable and were filled with My Lttle Pony stickers, a My Little Pony cup and My Little Pony tattoos. The decorations also included these beautiful, well made bookmarks.

The girls played musical chairs, limbo, and pin the Cutie Mark on Pinkie Pie.

The winner of each game took home 10 bucks!

( thanks Zeke) 

They also bounced the day away and roasted marshmallows and made smores on the fire pit. There was also a piñata but I didn't get any photos of it :(

Overall, Jordyn had an amazing birthday. Keeping it small and having just her best friends over was the best decision. I don't think things would have went as smoothly had there been more children. 

The decorations really made the day. Everything was so very well made and the amount of detail and care Sonya put into everything really shows. 

You can view Sonyas instagram HERE and see some of her other work, when I say the photos don't do the products justice.....I mean it!! On top of creating amazing work Sonya gives amazing customer service. She kept me in the loop every step of the way, she never hesitated to share her progress and how things were coming along. When everything was all done, I received a very detailed email describing everything I would find in my package and suggestions on styling techniques. 

I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR YOUR GENEROSITY!

You can also email Sonya at Stoneybrookestudios@gmail.com 

with inquiries for products and pricing. 

Xo, Jeanice.

Why trips to the library are important.

I've read a lot of posts about why building a home library for your children is important. I've also read a few posts with advice on how to build a home library for cheap. And while I think building a home library is very important, I think that taking actual trips to the library are just as, if not more important. 

Heres why..

Lessons in responsibility.

Do you remember your first library card? How excited you were to have one in YOUR name, not your moms?....How you now felt responsible? Checking out and returning books teaches a good lesson in responsibility and trustworthiness. Its an opportunity to teach our children about caring for things that are not ours. Children WANT responsibilities and allowing them to check out library books in their own name is a great tool for teaching such a lesson. They feel a sense of accomplishment when they take care of the books and return them in the condition they borrowed them in. 

Creating memories. 

taking regular trips to the library will give your child something to look forward to. Sure, we can go home and read a few books, but it wouldn't be as special.We go to the library every 2 weeks. Its something Jordyn looks forward to and gets happy about. We are creating memories and traditions that hopefully she will pass on to her children. She gets excited returning books and checking out new titles. 

Library activities.

Gone are the days where libraries were considered cold, quiet places where you couldn't make a peep without getting the "SHHHHH" from the librarian. Libraries are almost always alive with laughter and activities. We go on Wednesdays when they have lego club or arts and crafts club. So we can get our book browsing in and then have some fun active time. Most libraries have story time and puppet shows that the kids love. If your kids are older a lot of libraries offer teen activities as well. 

Nothing beats free.

going to the library gives your child exposure to more titles than you could probably ever afford. Lets face it, the price of books is a little outrageous. Library books are free. Jordyn has read almost every book in the Fancy Nancy series because of the library. The librarian can also help give advice on great titles and series for your child that you may not have even known about.  

Today, we are over run with technology, kids know how to play games on their iPad but can't name the title of their favorite book. Home libraries are great, but actually going out and experiencing the magic of a public library and all it has to offer is something that your children will never forget. Its a great experience and getting their own library card is every childs right of passage. Going to the library will help grow your childs love of reading because they aren't limited by just the titles they have at home. 

Make trips to the library a priority. I know that with school and sports and all of the other things going on in our lives, a trip to the library falls last on the priority list. But making a library trip a priority teaches your child that reading is a priority as well.

Xo, Jeanice

Refreshing a finger coil

I got a lot of questions about how I did Jordyns finger coils. Since I was refreshing the finger coils she already had, we decided to do a quick video. This is the same technique I would use if I were doing them on fresh hair. 

Xo,

Jeanice

Feature Friday: Confident kid Serene!

Happy Feature Friday!

This weeks feature is the gorgeous Serene! Big sister to 3 younger siblings.

Serene is 6 years old.

In the second grade.

She enjoys tennis, gymnastics, crafting, creating, and playing and helping with her siblings.

Serenes mom writes:

Serene Leah Davis

Serene has always been confident. 

She could talk before she was 2 and her favourite phrase was “I do it myself".  

Serene moves to the beat of her own drum! She says what she feels and does what comes natural to her while respecting others peoples abilities and thinking.  She is not afraid to be wrong because she understands that she learns from her mistakes and will eagerly try again.  She doesn't follow the crowd and is quick to tell you how she feels about something.  She does most things without having to be told because she is aware of the right thing and encourages others to do the right things as well. 

Her confidence shines through when dealing with her 3 younger siblings. She takes the initiative to help and has even told me at times "Don't worry Mommy, you take a break, I got this". 

Self confidence comes from a sense of competence. We allow her to make her own decisions while nurturing her natural talents and praising her for her accomplishments. 

Being a sibling teaches great life skills:

Love and support.

Cooperation and team work

tolerance

leadership

conflict resolution.

etc....

Serene is doing such a great job at her roll as a big sister. Keep up the great work Serene!!

Thanks to SuperMommy Laura for allowing me to feature her confident kid!

Be sure to go check out her blog supermommy101.com

For encouraging stories and tips on motherhood. 

Feature Friday. Confident kid Jayden!

I'm so excited for Feature Friday. This blog is all about positivity, building confidence and raising a happy confident kid... i'm happy to share my journey with you all and I want to celebrate your confident kid as well! Every Friday I will feature a child that has exemplified confidence. I hope these stories of childhood confidence inspire you as they've inspired me! Now, on to our first feature!

Confident kid Jayden!

Jaydens mom writes:

Jayden is very confident in his personal appearance. He will wear plaid and stripes with out even thinking twice. He also is willing to share and help his fellow friends/classmates out with there wardrobe, he has a boy that he met in camp who he is always helping him pick an outfit out of his closet! So I believe Jayden is confident in every way because in this crazy world it's easy to want to follow and fall in to the stereotype of what a black young man should do and wear etc. But not Jayden he does his own thing WITH CONFIDENCE!!!
❤️Kasey

Thank you Kasey for sharing Jaydens story with us. Its important for me to note that Jayden is biracial and his mother is not black. Its hard enough as a black woman to raise a strong confident black man, I know that the struggle is harder for someone who is not black. The fact that Jayden is so confident in himself and has a willingness to share and help ( most kids don't...Jordyn struggles withs sharing sometimes) at such a young age, is proof that Kasey is doing a great job! Way to go mom, keep building that confidence. 

And way to go Jayden! Keep being a Confident Kid!! 

Xo, Jeanice 

Teaching respect to children.

Hey yal! I meant to get this post up on Monday but.....life happens...lol. honestly, I spent all day Monday doing yard work, my puppy giant fur baby thought it would be a nice gift to dig up the entire drip system in the backyard. Its such a sad sight back there. Now that it's getting cooler ( no more 3 digit temps! whoohoo!) I can finally go out and do some damage control.

Anyway,  since its Respect Week here in Las Vegas, I just wanted to share my point of view on the subject.



RESPECT YOUR FRIENDS 

This week came at the perfect time because Jordyn has recently been dealing with some less than respectful activities from her 'friend' at school..
Is it just me or are "mean girls" getting younger and younger?

I mean, Jordyn had her first run in with a mean girl in pre-k then last year in kinder there was a girl who bullied everyone and now....she is dealing with a "frenemy". I mean for goodness sakes she's in the first grade. Has this generation of parents failed so miserably that our first graders are now having to deal with the mean girl antics that would normally not present themselves until they were at least preteens?  Really, how hard is it to teach our children a little respect? 

Just a few examples of this "frenemy"

EXAMPLE 1: The little girl in Jordyns class claims to be her friend, but turns around and gets really mad if Jordyn does well in class. Jordyn gets an award, her "friend" starts to pout exclaim "WHAT?..JORDYN, REALLY? she gets an attitude and says it should have been her.  Then tells Jordyn she is mad at her for getting the award.

EXAMPLE 2: Jordyn doesn't want to play what she wants to play, her "friend" in turn tells Jordyn she doesn't want to sit with her at lunch then proceeds to tell other kids secrets while rolling her eyes at Jordyn.

EXAMPLE 3: Jordyn wears a bow tie to school, the vice principle tells her how much she loves it, her 'friend' then tells her to take it off and let her wear it. ( she doesn't of course.)

I could go on and on but these are just a few examples of how NOT to be a friend. I'm not raising this child so I cannot comment on what goes on in her household that causes her to act this way. I can however, use this situation to teach my child the importance of respecting your friends.

See, after each situation took place, Jordyn would tell me all about it. She would tell me how she felt. I then would ask her " How do you think friends are supposed to make you feel?' and she would reply " friends shouldn't make you feel bad, they should make you feel good." I would then ask " does this make you feel good?" and her answer would be "no"

We would have long in depth conversations about how important it is that to respect your friends and how your friends are supposed to respect, appreciate and encourage you. I think a lot of parents think our children don't have the mental capacity to understand deep conversations when in all reality, they do. They enjoy them and they thrive on them.

One day, I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to give her another chance to be a real friend. Finally, when the girls behavior didn't change, Jordyn decided to give up on the friendship.

When the girl would ask her to play, Jordyn would say " no thank you." Over and over again until the girl finally asked " why aren't you talking to me?" Jordyn finally said to her " well, you were being mean to me and friends aren't mean to each other."

RESPECTING OTHERS.

I feel like there is an epidemic of disrespectful children running around. Did I miss something? OH! parents are utilizing iPads and television sets as make shift baby sitters. I forgot......

The thing is, theres a lot of 'activities' online about teaching your child to respect others when in all actuality, respect is something that is learned through imitation....children learn to respect others by watching the people in their lives respect others. Children learn to disrespect others by watching shows on tv where being a snotty brat is glamorized.

I get it, its easy to be rude and forget to say please and thank you, but as a parent, we don't have the luxury of "forgetting" Each time you don't say please or thank you....you can bet your child notices, and while you've been trying to cram it into their brain to use these words, once they notice that you, the person they love most in the world, doesn't use their manners.......they won't.....no matter how many times that app on their iPad sing the 'manners' song.

Practice a little kindness, say thank you to everyone, don't overspeak people, wait your turn, don't rip the Starbucks barista a new one because your Venti soy chai had too much foam, and I guarantee your kid will eagerly follow in your footsteps.


RESPECT YOURSELF

This is a conversation that needs to be had early on.
I think mothers are failing to teach their daughters that they if they don't have respect for themselves, no one else will. Little girls are twerking online, these children know the lyrics to songs they shouldn't even be listening to, posting videos of themselves fighting, cursing, calling themselves "bitches"...the list goes on...this generation is failing at parenting because they think its so 'cute' that their young children are behaving this way.

convenience has taken place of motherhood.

The most important thing we can do for our daughters is teach them to love and respect themselves. There really is no secret other than sit down and have a conversation, have multiple conversations. Jam it into their brain, SHOW THEM that you value and respect them for simply being them and they will in turn, value and respect themselves and not settle for anyone disrespecting them.
Even as children, they need to know that anyone disrespecting them is not to be tolerated and they can and should speak up.


Ultimately, teaching your child respect is as simple as having conversations and leading by example. There is no activity on paper that will take the place of this.


Happy respect week!

Xo, Jeanice.

Room tour.

It was requested that I do a tour of Jordyns room. 

Now, before I get into the pictures I have to say this....this is Jordyns room. ALL THE WAY. She is very particular about how things look and where things go. I don't decorate her room for her, she decides what she likes and we decorate it together. I also rarely clean her room. SHE is in charge of cleaning her room and putting her things away. Her room is a reflection of her and her personality so it may not be HGTV worthy, but her personality is felt in everything in there.
So, here we go.

CLOSET

DESK

BED

Xo, Jeanice :)