Tomorrow the love of my life turns 10 and i've been feeling a roller coaster of emotions ranging from excitement to fear. Excitement for these upcoming tween years, fear that I will no longer be needed. When I initially planned this post, I was planning a "10 Things I want my daughter to know before she turns 10" post but when I sat down and really thought about my journey in motherhood the last 10 years, the ups and downs, the struggles and triumphs, and the fact that Jordyn and I literally grew up together, what I really wanted to share was not the things I taught her but the things she taught me so here they are,
the 10 things my daughter taught me before she turned 10.
1. SHE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE FAITH
I was 18 when I got pregnant. I was a broke, selfish, party girl who only made decisions based on what I was going to be getting out of it. I never wanted kids so when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. I wasn't fit to be anyones mother and I knew it but for some reason behind the fact that I knew I was unfit, I had this strange faith and confidence that I could do it and that I could be great at it. That faith.....it changed my life and it came from her.
2. SHE TAUGHT ME TO KEEP MY WORD.
Growing up, no one ever really kept their word to me so of course, keeping my word wasn't a top priority for me because it wasn't something I was taught to value. I used to make promises I knew I wasn't planning on keeping or I would say one thing and do another. I had very little integrity before I became a mother but Jordyn changed all of that before I even gave birth to her. I wanted to bring her up better than I was and in the process of trying to better myself I became more aware of how terrible not keeping my word was and distanced myself from people who had even less integrity than I did.
3. SHE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE GRATITUDE.
I struggled throughout my childhood and into my young adult years. So much so that I used to have this anger towards the world coupled with this "why don't I have things" attitude. As Jordyn grew, she helped put life into perspective for me and I learned not to focus on the things I did not have but to be grateful for the things I did. A roof over our heads, our health, even something as small as her smile. She taught me to be thankful and grateful for everything.
4. SHE TAUGHT ME PATIENCE.
I never had patience for anything before I had Jordyn but we all know potty training takes a butt ton of it. Teaching little people to be good people is no easy task either and also requires a lot of patience and repetitiveness. Raising Jordyn taught me to enjoy the moment and not rush.
5. SHE TAUGHT ME THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS.
I used to hold grudges and never forgive anyone for anything. Jordyn though, is so forgiving. I think it's a kid thing, most kids forgive easily. Watching how easily Jordyn is able to forgive has taught me to try and be more forgiving as well.
6. SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO TRUST.
I was never a trusting person. I had been hurt and lied to so much that trusting others didn't come easy for me. Then I gave birth to this little human who trusted me to take care of her and I figured, if this little girl could trust me with her entire life, I could put a little trust in people too.
7. SHE TAUGHT ME WHAT HAVING STRENGTH IS ALL ABOUT.
Raising Jordyn has definitely showed me that I am one of the strongest people I know. Going through the things that I have gone through, being a struggling teen mother, and over coming it all proves that I am capable and strong. I don't think i'd of developed the strength to push through had it not been for Jordyn.
8. SHE TAUGHT ME SELF ACCEPTANCE.
I center my parenting around teaching Jordyn to love and accept herself and on that journey, i've found that she has taught me to accept myself. I learned early on that in order to teach self acceptance I must first be accepting of myself.
9. SHE TAUGHT ME TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
Parenting without humor is impossible. Like, you'll legitimately go crazy. A sense of humor makes difficult situations easier and makes sad situations a little happier. A sense of humor is the parenting gift that keeps on giving and Jordyn taught me the importance of having it.
10. SHE TAUGHT ME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Unconditional love was something I never grasped the concept of until I had Jordyn. In my life, love always came with strings attached...I guess it really wasn't love was it? The love from mother to daughter and daughter to mother is unconditional and unbreakable and something i'm so grateful for. She shows me everyday that there is nothing i could ever do to screw this mom thing up so badly that her love will go away.
These past 10 years of motherhood have been the most difficult but most rewarding journey i've ever had the pleasure of being on. I'm so blessed to be able to grow with and learn from my child and i'm forever thankful that I have a girl who makes this parenting thing feel easy. I owe Jordyn my life....I was on a one way ticket to nowhere before I had her. She came along and taught me that life can have meaning and that there is a such thing as pure happiness and I owe it to her to make sure she never forgets it.
Happy 10th birthday my love.